A chill came over the bar as two BOOBS stood back to back, each feeling every nervous flutter and stuttering breath that the other was trying to hide. The voracious crowd of BOOBS and callous bystanders hoping to see blood counted down from what seemed an eternity. The BOOBS took six even paces, at peace with mistakes they’d made on the turf or during recent flip cup rounds. The duellists emptied their cups in a heartbeat, turned, locked eyes and fired.
But let’s rewind.
The sheer number of BOOBS that MURDA (in maroon) saw as they walked onto the court for last night’s match was enough to strike fear into the most liberal of parents’ hearts. A full rack of BOOBS is a beautiful sight, and MURDA were clearly intimidated by the view as they struggled to control their spikes early on. Things were tight in that first game, but right towards the end BOOBS kept trying to go solo, not realising that they worked best in pairs, and MURDA took the game by a couple of points.
The second game was, again, agonizingly close as the BOOBS struggled to adjust to their new size, with so much of the BOOBS on the side at any one point that it was hard for them all to get attention and stay motivated. Quick rotation of the BOOBS was found to be extremely enjoyable, and BOOBS’ handling was fantastic. Still though, constantly twisting the BOOBS and moving them in and out came at a price, and MURDA wrapped up the second game by another small margin.
In the third, BOOBS threw off their training bras and embraced their new-found enormity. MURDA were shocked and could do little more than stand there as the points came in;- BOOBS were pretty much just playing with themselves towards the end of the 25-9 rout that closed off the match.
Back at the bar, old rivals Highway To The Danger Zone and drinking buddies from You Got Served were glad to see the boys-to-BOOBS ratio swell up, but after a few hotly contested games of flip cup and beer pong, a gauntlet was thrown down. No-one is sure what the root cause was: perhaps a disagreement over lingerie or a careless comment about cleavage, but soon BOOBS were facing off in a beer duel, recorded here for posterity.
The duellists emptied their cups in a heartbeat, turned, locked eyes and fired. Their cups collided in mid-air and BOOBS remained whole.